Vincent’s relationship with his father could be strained. The Reverend held certain expectations of his son, and Vincent often fell short of them. His dishevelled appearance, stubborn temperament, choice of companions, romantic relationships, argumentative manner, and tendency to speak his mind all contributed to the tension between father and son. Some of these traits, particularly his stubbornness, mirrored Theodorus’s own temperament, perhaps making their differences all the more difficult to resolve. Despite their strained relationship, Vincent’s correspondence suggests that he continued to value his father’s opinion and remained conscious of how he perceived him.

Their conflicting temperaments and expectations sometimes led to heated arguments. One particularly serious confrontation occurred at Christmas in 1881, when Theodorus ordered Vincent to leave the family home.

Vincent wrote to Theo, stating that he was angrier than he had ever remembered being in his whole life and that things had come to a head because he had not gone to church, adding that “if going to church was something forced and I had to go to church, I’d most certainly never go again, not even out of politeness, as I’ve been doing fairly regularly the whole time I’ve been in Etten.” This argument included a heated discussion about his relationship with Kee Vos (Cornelia Adriana Vos-Stricker), who Vincent was in love with, though she was his cousin. 

Two years after Vincent left the family home that day, he returned for a visit and wrote to Theo that he was heartbroken that, despite the reception being friendly and as kind as it could be, nothing, nothing, nothing had changed. Venturing further by stating that there’s a certain steely hardness and icy coldness, something in Pa that grates like dry sand, glass, or tin.  

Vincent confides in Theo that for those two years, every day was a worry for him over what had occurred that Christmas; he felt his parents never thought about it, were not sorry for what they did (by throwing their son out of his home), and led a normal life, as if nothing had happened, and bore no burden. Vincent lay awake at night, yearning for those wounds to heal and to be able to confront the heated argument that should never have occurred.

there’s a je ne sais quoi with Pa that I’m afraid I’m beginning to think is incurable, and that makes me apathetic and powerless.

It would have been intolerable for Vincent to face his father’s steely obstinance. During those two weeks, Vincent confronted his father, who Vincent states was met with “an iron barrier of irreconcilability” who descended into petty-mindedness instead of being more open, more liberal, broader, and more humane. It was the ministers’ vanity that drove things to extremes then, and it is still the same minister’s vanity that will cause more mischief in the present and the future.

Despite the disparities and persistent friction between father and son, love undoubtedly remained. The Reverend expressed his affection in ways that his eldest son may not have fully recognized. Concerned by Vincent’s squalid living conditions in the Borinage, the Reverend traveled to the desperate mining town in February, despite the horrid weather, to visit his son. Both parents were deeply saddened by Vincent’s chosen living conditions and attempted to persuade him to return to lodgings with the farmer Jean-Baptiste Denis at 81 Rue du Petit-Wasmes, but to no avail.

Vincent spoke fondly of the visit from his father. 

Vincent’s mother was a thoughtful, knowledgeable, and intellectually curious woman. She was well-read, kept a diary, and was an attentive observer of the world around her. As a mother, she encouraged her children to appreciate and respect the natural world. She cultivated a garden at their home and encouraged her children to work alongside her, teaching them to care for plants and flowers and to observe the processes of growth.

Anna herself came from an artistic family and had a keen interest in art, particularly watercolor painting and sketching flowers. Her appreciation for art and the natural world helped create an environment in which Vincent’s own sensitivity to his surroundings could develop.

Gardens, fields, trees, and trodden country paths surrounded Vincent’s childhood home in Zundert. Throughout his life, he returned in memory to this familiar landscape. Even years later, while living far from home, he could vividly recall the places and scenes of his childhood. The countryside remained closely associated with his sense of home and belonging, while the natural world would become one of the central subjects of his art.

After leaving home, Vincent continued to write to his mother, sharing news of his life, his health, and his paintings. Their correspondence allowed him to maintain a connection with his parents, even as his life took him farther from the Netherlands.

While staying at the asylum in Saint-Rémy in 1889, Vincent continued to write to Anna about his work and daily life. He also sent paintings to the family, maintaining an interest in their lives despite the distance between them.

He was particularly close to Wil, the youngest of Vincent’s sisters, Wilhelmina Jacoba van Gogh, born in 1862.

Of Vincent’s sisters, Wilhelmina, known as Willemien or simply Wil, is particularly interesting because of the correspondence she shared with him. Vincent wrote to her about subjects that extended beyond family news, including literature, art, mental health, and the position of women in society. Their letters reveal a close relationship between two siblings who shared many interests and sensibilities.

Wil had intellectual and artistic interests of her own and, like her mother and sister-in-law Jo, had a keen interest in literature and the liberation of women during a period when women’s prospects were significantly more limited than they are now. Both Wil and Jo joined “feminist movements.” During the 1800s, movements for social reform in the Netherlands gradually grew as women began challenging restrictions on education, employment, and participation in public life. Wil was a member of the Dameslees Museum (Library Museum for Ladies), whose collection included books and magazines about socio-economic issues, and served as a ‘meeting place.’

Vincent’s letters to his “dear little sister” often included some form of advice. In October 1887, when he was living in Paris, he advised her not to study or swot too much because it makes for sterility, but to enjoy yourself too much rather than too little, and don’t take art or love too seriously either. He suggests that painting rather than writing might be a more practical way to express feelings, and if they lived closer, they could paint together. He notes he can express his feelings through painting, but not through writing, because he is, quote, “not in the business.” He tells his sister that it’s not a bad idea for you to want to become an artist, because if one has fire in one and soul, one can’t keep stifling them, and one would rather burn than suffocate. What’s inside must get out. Me, for instance, it gives me air when I make a painting, and without that I’d be unhappier than I am.”

Wil never married but served as a nanny and a teacher and had a short tenure as a nurse at the Walloon hospital in Leiden. In 1902, she was institutionalized at the Veldwijk psychiatric institution in Ermelo, with a diagnosis of dementia praecox. Wil spent the remainder of her life there, which was just shy of 40 years. She died in 1941, aged 79.

Elisabeth (‘Lies’) Huberta van Gogh (May 1859-November 1936). Lies’ artistic trait was in the form of writing. She composed poetry and prose and, in 1910, later updated in 1923, authored a book about her brother Vincent, who had by then gained considerable renown.

Lies wed Jean Philippe Theodore du Quesne van Bruchem, a 51-year-old magistrate with whom she engaged in an extramarital relationship while serving as a lady’s companion and caregiver for his wife, Catharina Marianne Louise van Willes, who died young at the age of 39.

Two years following his wife Catharina’s death in 1889, Lies and Jean formalized their relationship by marrying in 1891. They had one daughter five years prior, who Lies had given birth to on August 3, 1886, in a hotel room in the Normandy village of Saint-Sauveur-Le Vicomte, France. The young daughter, Hubertina Marie Normance van Gogh, was kept secret and raised by a young widow who had two children of her own. The couple subsequently expanded their family with the birth of four more children. Their last surviving child, Felix Jean Philippe du Quesne van Bruchem, died in Canada in 1993. 

Hubertina was kept secret until after her father passed away in 1921. She died on August 6, 1969, in Lourdes, aged 83. She would never meet her mother or her famous uncle.

Anna Cornelia Van Houten (van Gogh) (1855-1930) was the second child of the Reverend and Anna, making her the eldest daughter. Like Vincent, she spent a brief period teaching in London and also at Ivy Cottage School in Welwyn, Hertfordshire. In a letter dated June 17, 1876, Vincent tells Theo that he visited Anna at the school. There is a blue plaque there today marking the event.

When Vincent was residing at the Loyer’s home at 87 Hackford Road, Anna stayed with him, after which they both relocated to the Parker house at 395 Kennington Road in London. Anna’s stay at the residence was brief as she relocated to Welwyn for her teaching position.

Throughout this period, Vincent cherished the moments spent with Anna, wandering the village and the countryside on extended strolls; although, as time progressed, their relationship started to sour slightly due to Vincent’s increasing ‘moodiness.’ That’s not to say their bond was broken; some people, including or perhaps especially siblings, are closest when apart.

Anna lived in England from 1874 to 1876. Upon returning to the Netherlands, she began working for the Van Houten family as a lady’s caregiver. After courting the son, Joan Marius van Houten, for two months, he proposed marriage, which likely surprised not only her but also Vincent, as he detailed to Theo in a letter dated July 9, 1887. 

Well, what do you say about Anna? It surprised me, and it seems to be serious too, and will certainly take place, one would venture to say. It could be good.

It was good indeed, for they were married on August 22, 1878, and had two children, both girls, Anna Theodora and Sara Maria.

Lady’s companions were often expected to reside in the home and were given a modest salary. They would accompany the lady of the house on visits, read with her in the evenings, play cards or other games, and provide company. Companions would offer practical assistance: help organize correspondence, manage small errands, or oversee aspects of daily life. She would also be expected to be discreet, agreeable, and available when needed.

Anna died on September 20, 1930, and was 75 years old. Her husband died 15 years later in 1945, aged 94.

Cornelis Vincent “Cor” van Gogh is the youngest child and was born on 17 May 1867. Anna would have been 47, and Theodorus would have been 45. Vincent 14. Like his brothers, he too had a tragic demise. 

Cor lived from 1867 to 1900 and pursued a career in engineering rather than art. After completing high school and passing his examinations, he began an 810-guilder-a-year apprenticeship in 1884 at Egbert Haverkamp Begemann Engineering Works in Helmond, the Netherlands. 

In a letter to Theo, Vincent discussed Cor’s choice of profession, expressing the view that, at Cor’s age, he should have gone to work for Goupil, as Vincent and Theo had done themselves. Theodorus had suggested that Cor might become a consul, but Vincent feared that the boy would go to seed in “pedantry and nonentity.” He also questioned whether Cor himself was aware that the Reverend had selected this profession for him.

Cor pursued his chosen profession in engineering, spending time in Lincoln, England, a major center for locomotive engineering. There, he worked for Ruston, Proctor & Co., one of the country’s leading engineering firms, known for steam tractors and engines and pioneering steam-powered excavating machinery used in mining. The technical knowledge he gained during this period would prove valuable in his next career move, when he relocated to South Africa and found employment with the Cornucopia Gold Company near Johannesburg. He worked in the Germiston area, a mining town that had emerged during the Witwatersrand Gold Rush of the late nineteenth century.

Cor later worked as a technical draughtsman for the Netherlands South African Railway Company. In 1898, he married Anna Catherine Fuchs in Pretoria, Zuid-Afrikaansche Republiek, though it lasted only eight months before she abandoned him, taking with her all of their possessions. In 1899, Cor joined the Boer forces to fight the British in the Anglo-Boer War, though he was wounded during a skirmish near Verkeerdevlei, a small town 39 km southeast of Brandfort.

Cor ended up in the Brandfort military hospital, where he developed a fever. There are conflicting stories about his death, though many believe, like Vincent, that he committed suicide with his pistol from his hospital bed. His death notice reveals he died on April 14, 1900. Vincent and Cor were not particularly close. 

Anna Carbentus van Gogh (1819–1907) outlived all of her three sons. Anna had four sons altogether, sadly one died at birth. His given name was Vincent Willem van Gogh born one year to the day that Vincent was born. March 30, 1852.